Realization

Frankly speaking, this is not the first day of realizing this.

I don't know it somehow happen to me only,

or it happen to my friend too.

This is none other than I'm spending almost 80% of my life on work.

*Sigh* Should I said this is life? or

that's media's life?

Not mumbling about my work...

just a little 'unbalance' in heart...

Consequences of Independent

Sometimes, felt that over independent is a worst thing in life... Seems like everything have to be handle by yourself.. No one could actually help and no one could actually willing to help since everyone thinks that you are independent enough...

Hate myself over independent, even sick, it's my responsibility to drive to clinic and consult doctor.. (sick didn't recover but I got another illness)

Medic allergic, it's my fault again, my responsibility agian to consult doctor one more time...(Now, I don't even want to bother anymore...)

Independent, for me, isn't a good thing, but I would rather said it's a worst feeling...

I would rather prefer someone to be beside to help, or just to share with me...

Sufffering Sore Throat & Dry Cough

Maybe I was lack of sleep (but I always lack of sleep) that cause me to have a sudden sore throat and dry cough these few days...

Maybe is my everyday consumption pattern that lead me to this too...

Maybe is the weather lately, and I'm not use to it...

*sigh* No more maybe... sore throat and dry cough means I'm sick....

Physically, Mentally Sick

These few days keep busying and worrying about tv production drama editing.. Don't have much time to rest..

Although it's tiring, as long as satisfy, I don't mind staying up late, doing all hard works..

Today, after last lecture, multimedia lecture, suddenly felt down... Physically not feeling well, mentally sick.. Got tied up.. everything is still so rush, problems happen together..

Do not know what else can I do.. No matter how hard I tried to solve problems, still, a lot of problems come to me...

Depress and stress, nowadays, find myself useless, don't have ability to solve problems anymore.. Too many problems for me, that's enough..

This subject got problems, before solving, another person tell me another subject's problems... Got really fed up...

Felt always solving problems alone... Getting speechless and speechless, don't have a specific reasons that cause that.. simply just do not know what to talk and lazy to face human....

Tired Life Tired Heart Tired of Everything

It's the first time I felt to face myself bravely, face my true feeling to the real world.... but finally.. what do I get??

Once I decided that, I never thought of the consequences.... now, the consequences comes to me...

How long I had been hiding my true feeling? I didn't know.. for years, I felt hard to live and sometimes, I even felt that I had lost myself in a mysterious world....

Life is always not as easy as we think, but I just want to be myself.. isn't that a hard thing to achieve??

I'm miserable.....

Useless Environment

Sucks environment ruin my life.. fed up and couldn't stand with all mumbling.. Am I that worst to keep you mumbling on me huh???

I've chosen my path.. I've done my best... isn't that still not enough to satisfy you??

You make me lose temper and irrational.. I don't know what are the reasons I'm staying back with this kind of environment..

Real world

lately quite tired with the life I have.. life is really not easy.. Sometimes I really don't know what should and shouldn't be expect in life... surprisingly, life is not as easy as math.. it's not always being equal and please.. don't ever expect equal treatment in life.. these few days I really learn a lot... son't expect the same way as you treat people... don't trust anyone (even you think the one that closest to you)... don't ever try to put your heart to anyone or any matter... if not.. in turn, you are the one that will get hurt.. that kind of feeling no one can understand even though you try to share with others... don't be kind to others, people will think you have intention towards them or trying to show off how helpful you are... is time for me to wake up... I'm here to welcome myself into the real world...

Disappointed Day

Finally final exam is over... actually quite happy and release.. but it's quite tiring as well because I couldn't sleep last night... totally lost in my own world... thinking about everything happened on me... decided to go to Sg Wang after exam but incidentally... something very sad happended... *haih* I'm really disappointed wih all kind of things happened... we've been waiting for a girl for a long time.. (at least 1 and a half hour) not only we couldn't get her... we don't even know why acually she need so much time.. if you really need so much time, why don't you just tell directly.. *sigh* I really couldn't take on this kind of attitude.. I hope she will change after i've told her about her CRAZY LATE MISTAKE... Melanie is now finish writing.. a special blog writing at MC... Signing Off...

Tiring Life

It's nearly final exam... but things seems not going to over... broadcasting assignment and MMS presentation haven't over.... quite worry about it... affraid I do the wrong things and mess up whole thing... especially MMS, maybe it's because of my opinion... my group member have to take the risk with me... *sigh* it's all my fault... I'm too stubborn... Why don't I choose the safest way? the alternative way is in a high risk... what am I thinking?? besides sighing... it's also sighing...